"Because the House Always Wins..."
Why the Falcons should sign Lamar Jackson
Oceans’ Eleven (2001)
“Because the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes, the house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, and then you take the house.” - Danny Ocean
Y'all ever seen Ocean's Eleven? Actually that's not important. Let's start over...
This entire NFL off-season, my beloved Falcons have been… okay. Not bad, not great. Just okay. I wouldn’t say we’ve quite turned our frowns from last season upside down, but we have found a few reasons to believe we’ll be smiling soon.
For starters, we were better last year. Our actual 2022 W-L record not withstanding, we played harder than we have in recent seasons, and there’s real progress there. We can see that. We have some young guys with bright futures in key positions, and got rid of our QB, Mariota, which was a good example of addition by subtraction.
We also have the 2nd most cap space of all the teams to work with in free agency. This is huge, because teams can only spend a certain amount of money per season to field the most competitive roster they can muster. And, with a decently-high 1st round pick coming in this spring’s draft, plus a coach that looks pretty comfortable in the system he’s been to building for 2-3 years, we have reasons for optimism. Over $60M reasons, to be exact.
On top of that, our division looks worse than ever. Tom Brady retired, the Saints are back to being the Aint’s, and The Panthers look more flat line than feline.
So, imagine our excitement when we see that Lamar Jackson, former league-MVP QB, is not happy in Baltimore, has no current deal in place, and can be courted by all 32 NFL teams this offseason. Now, the only teams that will NOT be courting him are those that are already set at the position (not us), and those that do not have enough money to pursue him with what will likely be one of (if not the single) highest-paying contract in the league (also, not us).
To make sure we’re all tracking here. Do you remember the part where I said we got rid of our QB earlier this year? And the part where I said that we have the 2nd-most cap space (>$60M) available of all 32 teams in the league? I know not everyone reading this is a football fan, but, to put it plainly, y’all should at least be curious as hell by now, if not perplexed.
And then I hear this…
Now, “per sources” isn’t the most reliable reporting out there, but them “sources” (whoever they are) need to see me. If y’all see sources, tell ‘em they owe me an explanation. I need to have words with these sources. Maybe these sources can get these hands. Let me calm down.
Let’s take it back to a simpler time. Remember when you were young, and you wanted a snack? Every so often you’d show up in front of the vending machine with a pocket full of nickels and dimes and shit, you lay them all out in your sweaty little child-sized hand, and count ‘em up. You’d see all the snacks behind the glass (candy, chips, chocolate, etc.) but usually could only pick one because of how much money you had. Usually. Remember that?
Well, did you ever do this exercise in front of the machine, and your little child-sized sweaty ass hand happened to have enough nickel and dimes and shit to afford TWO snacks? Like you could get Skittles AND a Honey Bun. Doritos AND a lemon lime Gatorade?
Yep. That’s what this is like. We got the money to get the guy! Except we’re about to push G8 and walk away with a 5-pack of Doublemint gum and EYE AM NOT WELL.
We are in a unique position where our needs and our wallets are in alignment, and we are about to do nothing? We’re about to play it safe? We’re about to roll with what we got? We’re about to let the house win? THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS. It’s our turn now.
Danny Ocean said it best, “Play long enough, you never change the stakes, the house takes you.”
This ain’t Hollywood, and I don’t look as good in a tuxedo as Clooney, but come one y’all. It’s not high art, it’s not AP calculus, it’s not macroeconomic theory, it’s not rocket science, it’s fucking snack time, dog.
Call the thing a thing, and go get The Guy. It’s time to win some ball games.
Michael Vick is not walking through that door. Julio is not walking through that door. Dan Reeves is not walking through that door. Matty Ice is not walking through that door. Warrick Dunn is not walking through that door. Andre Rison is not walking through that door. Deion is not walking through that door. Jesse Tuggle is not walking through that door. The Dirty Bird himself is not walking through that door. Jamal Anderson is not walking through that door. Roddy White is not walking through that door. Tony Gonzales is not walking through that door. “Big Play” Ray Buchannon is not.. (ok, I’m sorry I took it too far).
But I’ll tell you this, Lamar Jackson needs to be walking through that door. Prove me wrong.
For Lack of a Wetter Bird, the Falcons should sign Lamar Jackson.