Mom, this is an ALDI!
Mom, this is an ALDI!
On running late, melting ice, and the greater good.
Alright, so have you ever been hosting a function, or maybe been invited to a function at someone else’s house, or maybe just been late enough to a function where you’re the one that needs to go to the store on your way over and get all the stuff that isn’t already at the function? I have. You have too. I won’t name any names but a few of you reading this have forgotten to bring ice to my house multiple times.
Anyway, on this particular day, the one I’m about to talk about, I was somehow squarely in all 3 of those buckets above. I was throwing a birthday party at my parents’ house for Eli’s 3rd and my 30th. Now, this was July of 2020, not far from my actual birthday, and even though his b-day is in April (more on that next week 👦🏽 🎂), the pandemic made it so that we ended up celebrating our special days on the same scorching hot afternoon in Decatur, Ga. “3 Going On 30”.
As a long-distance co-parent, it means that when The Kid comes into town, a lot of people want to see him. And, even with how thin that sometimes stretches Eli, our family and friends, and his Daddy … you come to realize these times typically breed some of the best moments of the year.
So, to make way for that beautiful moment, I ended up hosting a joint birthday function (at my parents’ house which is more central to the rest of our family); and seeing as though I live well over half an hour away from them, I was late to “my” own party. And this is the story of how that went.
I got the first call and I was still in Gwinnett…
“Damn, T, where you at? Everybody’s here… Just leaving home?!?! Okay, well hurry up, the food is hot and we’re ready to eat… Oh and can you pick up some things on the way?”
I hooked an immediate U-turn and pulled into an ALDI parking lot. It was the first store I saw. Actually, scratch that, it was LIDL… maybe. And then I get out of the car.
Wait, it was definitely an ALDI. But honestly, if you’ve ever been to either of the 2 stores, you understand 3 things:
1. They are pretty much the same place
2. They are small grocery stores, not at all like Kroger or Publix or anything like that, so there’s generally less stuff altogether, and the brands are different. However, the store is certainly sufficient. Great, little shopping experience
3. You have to pay a quarter for buggies, but are encouraged to shop for things with empty boxes that are already in the store on the shelves. Or bring your own bag to shop with. It’s… sustainable. Especially if you just need a few things
If you haven’t been, I’m not sure how better to explain it. But no time for that right now, I was late! And these details are only part of the story.
The first important detail is that I was rushing so badly trying to get into the store, that I slammed my finger in the car door while getting out. Which finger do you ask? The long one… the middle one. You know, the one I flick people off with. Yeah. Anyway, as Pacino said in Carlito’s Way… “Bad start, Jack.”
The important second detail is that my list wasn’t particularly long at all… but it was definitely annoying. A bunch of knick-knacks. Nothing worse than having to shop for a bunch of shit than having to shop for a bunch of random shit (and being in a rush with an out-of-commission middle finger).
Imagine all this, I’m late as hell to my own kid’s function, it’s the middle of July, my finger just got slammed in the door, and my phone is buzzing off the MF hook. Mostly people calling to order the same things, not knowing someone had already asked me for it, and then adding something of their own to the list:
🍅 Ketchup (“might as well get two if they’re having a sale”)
🥂 White wine (“you know, the kind your auntie likes”)
🍞 Bread (“we don’t have enough for all this fish”)
🥗 Vidalia Onion vinaigrette (“for this new salad we’re gonna try”)
🔋 AA batteries (“matter fact, if they don’t have ‘em don’t even worry about it”)
🔥 Charcoal (“we may need to fire up the other grill, too”)
🥤 Red Cups (“cuz ain’t nobody been keeping up with their original one and we’re running out already”)
🃏 UNO (“I know we probably already have one somewhere but bring a fresh pack just in case")
🧊 Ice (“these sodas ain’t staying cold at all”)
Why don’t people ever have ice, man?! DAMN!
But you get the drift. A lot of shit to get… in this store with not a lot of shit in it … with not a lot of patience…
After a while, I had to simply tell my Mama “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s”. It was an ALDI, but still. This ain’t the type of store that has everything you want. But on this day, it had everything I needed.
Keep in mind, I’m working with one hand. My left one at that. Middle finger throbbing with every added item I pick up to lug around the store.
But this is where things began to turn around for me.
Remember when I told you that stores like ALDI don’t have free buggies? They cost a quarter (of which you could’ve paid me a dollar to find one and I wouldn’t have been able to). And that they encourage sustainability by allowing you to use the empty boxes in the store to shop with (of which I was too flustered to look for given the circumstances), or they allow you to shop with a bag of your own (which I’m SURE you know by now I did not have)?
Well, all that leads to the third important detail of this madness.
I had everything in my hands and arms waiting in the checkout line. Like, everything. Imagine doing the “Let Me Hold You Down” Bow Wow dance, except filling your arms up with a bunch of stuff you picked up around ALDI.
I was fuming, late, anxious, and battered from the middle finger up… until I felt something. And that something caused me to feel an even better something… A smile came over my face. I hadn’t smiled in what felt like all day, but at that point, I knew that even amidst the madness, everything was okay.
I knew that just like the added energy and chaos that comes when everyone around town wants to wish your kid a happy birthday, and as mentioned, that no matter how stressful those days and weeks can sometimes be, they’re usually some of the best moments of the year… the types of moments that make you realize that all things truly work together for the greater good if you can just be patient and stoic in the many, mini-valleys life throws us each day.
Yes, just like that, shopping at ALDI that day was the exact same way. Their ketchup may not be Heinz, and their white wine may not be cold, and they may not have UNO… Because ALDI doesn’t have everything you want… They only have everything you need.
Which leads to the greatest important detail of this entire story. While I smiled and thought about this, how great I was feeling at that moment, I looked down calmly at what had caused said smile. It was my left middle finger, dripping with water, as that pesky ass bag of ice they asked me for melted onto the checkout line floor. It was exactly what my bruised middle finger wanted, and exactly what I needed. In a damn ALDI! Things had been working together for my good the entire time. I didn’t know it, but all I had to do the entire time was stay cool. Which I hadn’t, but more importantly, I also hadn’t given up.
There’s no better remedy for a bad day than some stick-to-it-ness. There is nothing better treatment for a bruised middle finger than some ice. And there’s nothing better than showing up late to a function with everything everyone needs.
For Lack of a Wetter Bird, all things work together for the greater good if you let them.
And everything was alright.
P.S. If those few of you who always forget to bring ice to my house are still reading this... I forgive you.
