Discover more from For Lack of a Wetter Bird
When does late afternoon turn into evening?
I answered the toughest question I heard all week...
This Thursday (evening), Home Less in Dallas is hitting the Plaza Theatre stage with some other ATL writers, and one of my favs Austin L. Ray. If you’re local, stop by and check us out! Free food, books, drinks… free fun 🏽
Isn’t it funny how some of the most important questions in life are the ones that don’t actually have answers? Well, that’s not true. People have answers for everything, but that don’t make us right.
Like, should you run the ball on 3rd & 3? Do you hit a 15 in Blackjack? Should kids learn cursive in elementary school? Which eye on the stove is best to cook on? And… what’s the best thing to ever happen to the potato? 🤔 🥔
Well, the other day, one of these questions came up and I took it upon myself to answer it. Once and for all. The question?
When does late afternoon turn into evening?
Note: Some of these I’ve thought of myself. I’ll be sure to credit the ones that aren’t mine. Let’s do this!
“Right at 5… because afternoon is from 12-5. So 5 is evening.” Part of getting married is respecting the opinion of your partner. So this is Paige’s answer, which I didn’t agree with at first, but I still put it first on the list 🙃. BUT… to be fair, Twitter seems to agree, per my very thorough market research last week:
But 40.7% of people have been wrong before, so I had to dig deeper.
“Whenever it becomes cool enough to wear pants outdoors.”
I like this one. Because sometimes, evening means it’s time to go places, and a lot of times when people go places in the evening, they have on pants. It can’t be evening without pants, right?
Simple, stern, exact. Easy to respect, hard to beat, but still leaves us a little cold, right? It doesn’t quite sit right with my spirit because it’s like… I can still be in traffic coming home from work at this time. And the thought of me not being done with the “work” part of my day in the “evening” is pretty depressing. So, let’s leave this one where it’s at.
Ah, yes, speaking of work…
“Whenever cocktail/happy hour starts!”
Shout out to my desk neighbor Barbaraaaaa (pronounced like Fabo at the end of “Tat It Up”) on this one who shot me this answer before I could even get the question out of my mouth the other day. She’s clearly thought about this question before, and it’s nice to work next to people who have strong opinions and know what they’re about. Kudos!
“When you take the dog out to pee for the 3rd time.”
I spend a lot of my life (especially when I work from home) making sure our dog Winston has peed or pooped. Plenty of y’all have dogs, and also work from home, so you know the drill. It’s a whole ass thing. But yeah, by the time he needs to go out for that third piss, it’s usually about evening right around then, so it belongs on this list.
“The time of the day, when the sun’s going down. That’s the golden time of day.”
Hard to argue with that. But for some people in certain parts of the country, during certain times of the year, that time of day might be like 3PM (Maine) or like 9PM (Seattle). I love you Frankie Bev, but further research needed to be conducted to sift through this maze.
Speaking of music…
“As the sun sets, and the night falls, and them **** call.”
Love this song, and the entire Late Registration album, and my boy Kanye, but some people ain’t got nobody calling their phone so, this feels a tad bit exclusive. Let’s move on.
“As soon as the news comes on.”
I think we’re getting warm here. Very, very warm actually. The argument is flexible because the news comes on at like 4, 5, 6, and 7 PM in a lot of cities, so this is based more on a feeling than a time, which I like. Yet still, this isn’t a shared experience. Not everyone is over 55 years old. Sorry, Nero.
Keep digging, Troy.
“When you finally turn your laptop off.”
This is also built off of a feeling, and not necessarily a time, which I still believe is the right way to go to answer this question. Thus, conceptually, this is a good answer. But it’s still work-related, and we’re not on that. Think about it, the sun doesn’t set based on our personal to-do list, it’s on it’s own time whether you turn that laptop off or not. If the sun don’t live by your laptop, then neither should you. Good answer, otherwise, thought so let’s let it take us home…
And with that said, it hit me clear as day. Thank you for your patience, but I have the answer now, you ready?
For Lack of a Wetter Bird, late afternoon turns into evening when you start really thinking about dinner.
That’s the evening. As soon as you make the decision to put on clothes to go out to eat. The moment you start prepping, chopping up onions and what not. Once you begin scrolling aimlessly through Uber Eats. The second you open that refrigerator door and start staring blankly at them leftovers you know you need to eat… that’s when the evening starts.
Alright, that’s my stomach y’all, I think it’s time for me to go pre-heat the oven. Peace out and enjoy your evening!
P.S. It’s always nice seeing FLoaWB readers out in the wild! Shout out to Victaria “Tari” Thomas from NC who, in the middle of a housewarming last month, said to me “I read those little letters. Boy you are crazy!” It was the nicest thing I’d heard all week