Troy's Birthday "Duck-It" List

Having fun with idioms (again).

New age, who dis?

Yep, I just had a birthday. Time to celebrate! Pro tip: Don’t never have no Sunday birthday without no Monday PTO. 0/10, won’t recommend.

Last year, I kicked off my birthday with an official Bucket List. Well, it was my unique version of a bucket list. Less (much less) a list of a bunch of things I want to do before I go to glory, and more (much more) a list of some of the most popular idioms that involve the word “bucket”. Like, “a drop in the bucket” (an insignificant part of a whole), or “a walking bucket” (someone who’s really good at scoring the basketball).

It was fun, methinks. And so this year I’m doing the same thing. Except instead of buckets, it’s all about the word “duck”. A Duck-It list; as it were.

Last year it was like 7 of ‘em. This one has over 10. Enjoy!

Fun fact: The bird in the logo of this newsletter is, in fact, a duck! There were many iterations before we landed on the official logo (designed by the great XPayne, who also did the artwork for my latest book Home Less in Dallas), and I’ll share some of the drafts here today bc what the hell, why not?

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🎯 A SITTING DUCK

Definition: something or someone with no protection against an attack or other source of danger

Yep, this probably originated from people who hunt ducks. And it makes sense, because ducks can fly and what not, making them hard targets to hit when in the air. But, when you catch one sitting, it changes things. Sitting ducks are probably the easiest thing to hunt.

In a sentence: Look, rookie, there’s a sitting duck right there. If you can’t hit that, you probably shouldn’t be huntin.”

⚾️ A DEAD DUCK

Definition: a person or thing that has no chance of success

I usually only use this phrase for one thing, and one thing only: when someone is undoubtedly about to be thrown out at home plate during a baseball game. It’s painful to watch, no matter what team you root for, but somehow, you can’t turn away.

In a sentence: Whew, I’m glad the third base coach told him to stop. If he would’ve tried to turn third and run home, he would’ve been a dead duck at the plate.

🇺🇸 A LAME DUCK

Definition: an official in the final year of office after his/her successor has been elected

This one is pretty straight forward. Used mostly in politics, but can apply to many other situations. Essentially, it’s like the most intense, prolific, and public version of senioritis anyone can experience.

In a sentence: After Trump was elected in November of 2016, Obama officially became a lame duck U.S. President until the inauguration in January of 2017.

💦 LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK’S BACK

Definition: when something has no effect on a person, thing, or situational outcome

So, as it were, ducks have a complex system of feathers that keep them warm and waterproof. And, when water gets on them, which is quite often as I’m sure you can imagine, it ——-wait for it—— rolls right off of their back. Essentially, whether they’re swimming or trying to stay dry, they are masters of their domain. They ain’t wet ‘til they wanna be wet.

In a sentence: No matter how many times they made fun of Gary for his old, beat up shoes, the insults rolled off of him like water off a duck’s back, and he wore them time and time again, un-phased.

😱 DUCKING THE FADE

Definition: to actively avoid a fight, usually with the underlying understanding that said person would lose said fight. This person is perceived to be afraid.

Look, sometimes you kick ass, and sometimes you get your ass kicked. But there’s nothing worse than trying to avoid what you got coming for you, especially in public. Take your Ls with grace, good people.

In a sentence: Joel Embiid always seems to be “injured” or “resting” every time he has a game against 3-time league MVP Nikola Jokic. Can’t be a coincidence at this point, does he think he’s not good enough to compete? I think he might be ducking the fade.

💸 STACK MY DUCKETS

Definition: to save money (usually for something important)

So this actually stems from the 19th century word “ducat” (pronounced “ducket”), a European gold coin that’s no longer in circulation. Today, the word itself is just slang for money (and spelled differently). And, well, I’m sure you get it from there.

In a sentence: I don’t think I can make it out tonight. I’m trying to stack my duckets so I can go bananas on my birthday weekend.

😮‍💨 GOT ALL THE BUTTER FROM THIS DUCK

Definition: the sentiment of a person who was worked hard, and has little to nothing left to give

We’ve all had these days. The days when you’ve done all you can do (usually for “The Man” at work, or family, or someone/something else). And, well, part of adulting is knowing the buck has to stop somewhere. And this is what you say when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

In a sentence: “Can’t help you move today, man. I’m TIED. I just worked a 12-hour shift AND have to go in early tomorrow to cover for someone. They got all the butter from this duck today. I’m on the couch!”

😒 IF IT LOOKS/WALKS/QUACKS LIKE A DUCK

Definition: when a person identifies an unknown subject by observing that subject's habitual characteristics

Generally speaking, it’s not the best practice to generalize people. But also, don’t make a habit of overthinking things. Trust what your eyes and ears are telling you. What did Maya Angelou say that one time? “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” Just like in sports,“you are what your record says you are.” See something, know something.

In a sentence: “Is that my ex over there at the bar talking to my best friends, or someone else with the exact same hair, outfit, and complexion, stance, and smile as her?”

“I hate to tell you this, but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck … then it probably is a duck.”

🙈 DUCKIN’ AND DODGIN’

Definition: To repeatedly avoid answering questions or dealing with a situation

Let’s be honest, asking questions is a lot easier than answering them. And sometimes, we just ain’t as ready to answer as people are to ask. Some call is deflection, omission, avoidance, cowardice, or simply lying. But one thing is for sure, people can see it from a mile away.

In a sentence: “Can you just be straight up with me, instead of duckin’ and dodgin’ my questions every time I ask you something?!”

🍀 LUCKY DUCK

Definition: Someone with astounding good fortune

Some people just have the odds in their favor. Sometimes it’s you, most times it’s not. However, from surviving near fatal car accidents, to winning bingo or raffles, and more being a lucky duck is a real thing for all of us.

In a sentence: “Bro, I can’t believe you caught that home run ball at the Braves game. You lucky duck.”

🦆 GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW

Definition: To make all the preparations needed to do something. To get everything organized

When you see a lot of ducks, they’re rarely not in formation. Whether it’s a flying V during migration, or crossing a pond or street behind mama duck in a single file line, they’re… together.

And the way life is set up, most times, it’s best that our stuff is together too. Ahead of time at that.

In a sentence: You need to get your ducks in a row before you apply for your passport because if you don’t it’s going to make things hard for you. It’s not a simple process.

🥛 MILK A DUCK

Definition: Tasks or activities that are, or seem to be, impossible.

Not as popular, but it’s a thing. Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things”, but some things you can’t. Jesus did some marvelous stuff with them fish and that bread, but I’m not too sure how he’d fare trying to milk a duck. I’d have to see it to believe it.

In a sentence: “I want a million dollars!”

“Yeah, and I wanna milk a duck…”

For Lack of a Wetter Bird, what’s your favorite duck idiom?